What is a Fear of Success?
A Fear of Success is when you are afraid of achievement.
Why do we fear it?
It isn't the success we necessarily fear but the consequences of that success.
Here are some examples;
We do really well in a test at school and you are so proud of yourself but you don't want to tell your friends how you got on because they might make fun of you.
You have been promoted at work and even though you really wanted this you are now worried how your colleagues will be with you now that you are their boss.
You have decided to quit your job and start your own business but you are worried about the criticism you might get.
You are so excited that you are pregnant but will this change you for the worse?
You have taken on a new role but what if you can't actually do it and you don't live up to expectation?
Not celebrating what we have achieved because of how you might be perceived by others or yourself.
Is it just safer to stay hidden, to stay put where you are, as it is much safer? You know what you are doing, what everyone else is doing, what you get paid etc...but is this really what you want? To stay safe in a place that maybe isn't challenging just to protect yourself from succeeding and changing what you know...
So what will happen if we allow ourselves to succeed?
Things will change.
They have to and they need to if you want to move forwards.
The only constant thing is change so lets roll with it not against it.
Just stop and think for a minute...if you did succeed in whatever it is you really want to do, how would that affect your life?
Maybe more scarily, what are the implications to your life if you don't succeed and worse still you don't even try...
What can we do about a fear of success?
First of all be aware of it. Do you ignor it when you succeed at something?
Do you set low expectations so it is easy to achieve but it moves you so slowly there is no real worry about you getting anywhere quickly?
Do you give up when it feels a bit too close for comfort?
Do you procrastinate and keep changing what you are doing so there isn't a chance of facing up to that possible success?
Do not brush over your successes and make it seem like it was good luck or right place, right time?
Imposter Syndrome is when you don't think you deserve what you have achieved or could achieve...so therefore you are blocking yourself. You think won't be able to do it anyway so you are self sabotaging yourself before you have even started.
It is recognising if you do any of these points above and then journalling around it. Talk to someone and to help realise there is nothing to fear with success.
It was YOU who succeeded, YOU who worked hard, YOU who deserve this success. There is no need to ignor it for fear that it might change who you are or what people might think of you.
Just because you succeed in something doesn't mean you turn into an arrogant, unpleasant person. You still choose how to behave, so to fear you might change into someone you don't like is not believing in yourself.
As Albus Dumbledor says "it is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities".
What can I do next?
So you are sitting here thinking yep I do that, yep I do that and whoops I kinda do that one too...that is ok. You are now aware of it, so you can start to move forwards by embracing those thoughts and feelings.
Say affirmations about yourself, journal how you feel and what you want to do.
Visualise your future and where you want to be and understand that to get there you need to succeed.
Change isn't all bad, flip it on its head and think what are the implications if I don't succeed? Think about that...
Not moving forwards could mean you aren't as happy, you have a strained relationship at work or home, you have less time with those you love...
Is that what you want?
The consequences of your actions whether you succeed or don't succeed will always implicate your life, so why don't you give yourself the best possible chance and choose success.
