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They must all be thinking I am so crap...

How often do you worry about what other people are thinking about you?


How often has it stopped you from being the incredible person that you are, because you are more worried about what others might be thinking about you?


Have you ever ridden into an arena checking where everyone is?


Do you shy away from riding if there are people around?


Do you just want the ground to swallow you up and you are so unfocussed on connecting with your horse because you are straining your eyes and ears to work out where everyone is?


Do you get so frustrated knowing you can do it but as soon as someone is there you tense up and it goes wrong?


Do you want to compete again but the thought of all those opinions, all those people watching, just makes you feel sick?


The list goes on with riding and in our day to day life, once we allow ourselves to be concerned with what others think.


It isn't easy stopping those worries, stopping that thought process, and then that belief, which then leads to the undesired behaviour of not riding, not competing, and not doing what deep down, you really want to do.


So this is possibly the most important part; to ask yourself: do I know for certain they think that? Where is the proof?


What could be a more helpful way that they might be thinking instead and are they even thinking about you at all?!


So first of all; are they even watching or thinking about you?


Secondly, if you really do think they are watching and commenting, what positives could they say instead?


Here are a couple of examples:


Negative thought:

I'm such a bad rider, I know they are all watching wondering why on earth I bother.


Positive thought:

They could be thinking: She is so brilliant, she rides so regularly.


Negative thought:

That poor horse, having to put up with her..


Positive thought:

That horse is so fit and healthy, he is loved, cared for and ridden on fantastically long hacks.


Negative thought:

She made so many mistakes...


Positive thought:

I would never have had the confidence to do that, she always goes for it...


You can see the pattern and how you can reframe what you/they could say into something else.

Our pressumptions are very dangerous things. We often assume what others are thinking, without giving them a chance to share their actual thoughts.


We have all done it, but it is catching it, being aware of when we are doing it and then asking if it is true, where is the truth and then reframing it.


This takes time to practice, but practice with your own negative thoughts too and soon you will be reframing everything!


Last but not least, how about we get ready to ride with a focus, with excitement and repeating to ourselves our affirmation.


When you are getting on, step into your circle of excellence and whilst riding press your anchor if you need to.


You can do this. It doesn't matter what others think of you, the only thing that matters is you doing what you really want to do and enjoying the connection with your horse. You do what you want to do, not what others think or what you think others are thinking. This could make you do something you don't want to, you aren't ready for or stop you doing something you really want to and can do.


Take a deep breath, focus and go for it.


If there is anything in here that you would like more information or help with please do message me x

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