I had a bit of a strange Easter and for the first time ever I didn't really enjoy a school holiday as much as I usually do. It really upset me, so of course I set about working out why;
1. Rich had a different holiday to the kids and I so the first week he was still working so it wasn't all of us together, which we all love.
2. I didn't get away, camping or to see the sea even just for a day. This was down to bad planning as I have friends by the sea but also I thought we could just chill out at home for 2 weeks....hmm...maybe not for me in retrospect.
3. As a tutor, teacher or childminder I have only worked term time and enjoyed the holidays as pure family time. Now my coaching business is growing, which is amazing, I wanted to work more which meant juggling kids and having less time for them, which was a challenge for me physically and emotionally.
4. Disrupting my routine. I like routine!! I didn't realise how much I did until this holiday. I didn't know what day it was, I kept forgetting to do my usual ritual tasks for coaching as I was fitting in work as and when. I felt rushed and like I wasn't being able to be a good mum or run a good business.
5. I felt like I was just treading water, not progressing with my coaching work as I had expected to with the extra hours available due to not tutoring.
These 5 points began to make me feel overwhelmed, tired and disappointed. I had had a much too high an expectation on what I wanted to achieve. It left me not doing what I had planned, not spending as much quality time with the kids and I must learn from it.
Next holiday I will plan the hours in I am at work so the kids know, I will know and when that time is up, it's done. I am free to be completely their's again. Guilt free working and guilt free mummy time!
I will plan what needs to be done realistically so I won't feel I haven't achieved but also will be productive in the time I do have.
I will go away to the sea, for the day if need be, even if Rich is still at work as it was our holiday, and I would love our holidays to match, but they didn't.
I will stop and plan in days when I don't work, at all, to properly rest and enjiy pure kid time.
The second week we were all off and we had some lovely days out walking, at grandma's, at my brother's and the overwhelm left but the disappointment for not doing more in the first week lingered.
I share this with you because I want you to know you are not alone, juggling childcare, feeling overwhelmed, planning your day and questioning what you are doing.
I love what I do, but it started to feel too much, I started to believe in myself less, I started to feel my confidence going.
It creeps up on you, feeling not good enough and our confidence has a massive part to play in our motivation and our choices.
Realising what is going on and being able to embrace what has changed, but not let it effect your confidence. This is the key to keeping going and doing what you want to do. Just because you have a set back does not mean you can't do it at all.
Give yourself a break, lower your expectations when something changes and disrupts your plans. Enjoy being in the present without thinking about all you have to do. It will still need doing, whether you think about it or not, so let's not.
It is easier said then done but that's why I run the courses I do. I love watching clients come from overwhelm to calm. To know what to do, how to react, or to not react, to feel like their life is good, they are happy. The transformation of going from feeling like everything is too much, to being in control of your life is just magical and do-able too.
If any of this resonated with you, jump on a free call with me and we can pin point your areas to focus on during that half an hour.
Here is the link below, I have 4 spaces available for next week at the moment.