I did a video to my Facebook group, Confident You, earlier on this week and I wanted to share with you too, why I love to do what I do. I think it helps to share your story, when you're ready and this is some of mine:
When I was growing up I had really supportive parents and a lot of my confidence came from them and their belief in me. I was very shy and hated to stand up infront of the class or walk into somewhere on my own, but I did. I did these challenging things because deep down I could hear my parents say, you will be OK, you've got this.
As I grew up they were my absolute rocks, any questions or worries I could go to them, they always had my back. I did not realise this though until it was too late and I was left in the shock of grief.
Grief takes such a long time to try and come to terms with and you don't get over it, you do just learn to live with it.
One of my biggest challenges was finding my confidence on my own. I didn't have my support anymore, it felt all on me and I couldn't even hear their voices in my head, it hurt too much.
I was on my own, lost, wondering how on earth I was going to do this...
Slowly I started to find me, the me my parents always saw, but I hadn't. I found a kindness and softness that I had hidden. I found my desire to help others grow and I understood how impatient I could be and started to let it go too!
I had pushed my friends away for years but I missed them and reached out for them again, some not that long ago. I relied on animals more than humans, scared that loosing another loved one would hurt so much I wasn't sure I could cope. They were a wonderful tonic and I always have animals now. They live in the now and just take you as you are, no judgement, just wanting to connect with kindness and patience.
I craved being outside and found it a necessity in my healing. I climbed, rode horses, walked, travelled and surfed. Everytime I was in nature, it wrapped me up and allowed me to gently think, but also distract me and remind me of the beauty that surrounds us. I still go outside today when I am having a bad day, even if it is to sit in the garden.
I started to use affirmations, to remind myself that I could do it, when I started to doubt myself. I worked on my positive mindset and I banned the use of certain words; if only, I wish, I will try, and I hope, are the main four. This enabled me to see what I had in a positive light and if there was something wrong it isn't oh well I will try to do this...it's a definite; I'm going to do this. It helps to ensure you don't have a way out. If you just say you would try, well you aren't really that definite anyway and if you don't do it, you only said you would try, so you haven't let yourself down. Cop out!
I stopped fearing failure as my confidence grew in me.
I found that grief made me slow down, live each day as it comes and don't take it for granted. To live in the now, to not worry about yesterday or what might happen next. It wasn't everyday but it was definitely a more healthier approach to life.
I have found peace, calm, and contentment by being in control of what I think and do, my reactions and behaviour.
So why do I want to help others?
Because not all people get the start in life that I had. Not all people know how to find themselves and believe in themselves . Sometimes we have a little confidence blip and other times it's so overwhelming we don't know where to start.
I don't want people to feel alone, as I did. I want people to feel able to ask for help.
I have created a step by step approach that intertwines my 6 key elements, to feel complete.
I have then combined this with connections; to yourself, others and the world around you so that we find our confidence, our happiness and our ocean of overwhelm has gone, maybe not forever but when you feel it creeping up, you know how to deal with it.
Being able to feel confident has taken time and it doesn't come naturally so I have to keep working at it, keep challenging myself, knowing that I can do it for me and that my parents are happy in the knowledge that I have become the daughter they could always see, but I couldn't.