I have been working a lot recently with limiting beliefs for myself and my clients.
I find it amazing how we all hold on to thoughts about ourselves that we have solidified into a belief. What we haven't taken on board is that we have grown up, changed, developed in a way that doesn't need or want those beliefs, that have become engrained in our make up.
As a small example, I always thought I was rubbish at maths. I didn't find it easy, at all, at school. I developed a block when I found my dad and brother were so quick at mental arithmetic, that I stopped trying or worked out short cuts.
We loved board games and whenever we used 2 die I worked out that it was quicker to just start moving round the board counting them as an 2 individual numbers. I didn’t want my family to think I couldn't add up simple numbers as fast as them. They would not have cared but I didn't like being slower. They would know instantly what the 2 numbers added up were and would start moving. I didn't and to protect myself I found another way.
This was determined, competitive, creative, forward thinking, but I didn't see those qualities at the time just failure.
Can I do maths now? Well I run my own business and do my own accounting so yes, I do and I'm happy with that.
This is a small example of turning a belief around and not believing it anymore. I no longer say I'm no good at maths. I do say I didn't find maths as easy as other subjects at school...
A limiting belief that is hard for me today is my body image. I was always very fit, with a slim physique and not much fat on me. I then had kids and my body changed forever. I couldn't seem to shift the tummy fat after Freya and then became pregnant again. The problem for me was that having babies, then toddlers and little children, who still didn't sleep, I was exhausted and didn't have the energy or motivation to do anything about this tummy fat.
It made me sad. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror and I felt uncomfortable when my husband would compliment my body. It was ridiculous, he was just saying it to make me feel good, he didn't actually mean it. It didn't matter what he said my belief in my image was so solidified that I couldn't understand what he was saying.
My body had become ugly. I hated it, I wanted to be back how it was before children.
This was and still is at times the hardest belief to crack and it started to affect my relationship with my husband and definitely was affecting me and my love of myself. I had to do something to change my mindset for me before I started loathing myself anymore.
When you hide from your body in the mirror, cover up when getting changed so no one can see you, including yourself, its time for a change.
First of all though I had to have the energy to tackle it, which meant sleeping more. I went to bed earlier and then the kids started to sleep through the night, after about 7 years!!
So I had the energy, now for the motivation...if I didn't like it I need to do something about it, but equally I didn't believe I would go back to how I was so what was the point...
It was time for some mindset work....I worked on my body image as a 40 year old lady, not a 20 year old. I worked on my gratitude that my wonderful body carried and gave birth to the loves of my life. It was a miracle, it cared, nurtured and grew with my babies to care for them in a way I could never imagine possible. It then continued to feed them so I could have healthy, strong children. Yes my body has changed but for the most wonderful reasons.
Even if I hadn't had children as you get older your body changes. It is easier to put on weight, harder to exercise to the same level that I did when I was younger.
I suppose the realisation that my kids might not believe how fit and sporty I was made me start running. I don't find it easy, never have, but it is free and I can go whenever and it doesn't take up hours of my time.
I now exercise for me, to get fitter because I want to be fitter, to breathe easier, to keep up with the kids running round. I still have a way to go but at least I am not doing it from a self loathing point of view.
I love my body, I love what it has done and still does. My body is strong, beautiful, totally unique and all mine. Without this body I wouldn't have been able to do all I do and I thank my body for being so wonderful to give me freedom.
I still have blips when I go eugh but then I focus on all the wonder my body has created.
I still want to get fitter but I am working on that. A 40+ year old body can't get fit over night. It takes time and I will care and look after my body as it cares and looks after me.
The fact is without my mind being in a positive state it didn't matter what exercise I did or didn't do, I still hated how I looked. With my mind in the right place I can get fit in peace, get changed without a towel wrapped around me and be proud of what my body has become today and look forward to what I can do tomorrow.
What are you holding on to that isn't allowing you to go forward?
Step 1; acknowledging what that might be,
Step 2; doing something about it.
Step 3; embracing the positives that you learnt from that belief and then letting it go.
Step 4; practice your new belief, repeat it, live it, love it, be it.
Step 5; freedom and growth.
Message me if this resonated with you and remember you are never alone.