I have been invited to a party and I would love to go but it's worrying me and taking up my brain time, which is tiring.
So what can I be worried about? It is mainly walking in on my own, seeing old friends who I haven't spoken to in ages and having someone to talk to.
It's a funny one because it's not like I won't know people there, I will, but I'm not part of a group, and there will be about 6 different groups! I will need to walk in on my own and hope that people have time for me. I find that scary.
So why bother going you might be asking yourself....
Well I want to wish them a happy birthday, I want to celebrate with them, I want to show I care and they mean something to me. My feelings for them is greater than my fear of going so I will go, I just have some mindset hurdles to overcome first.
I'm sure once I walk in the door it will be wonderful. I can flit around from group to group catching up with old friends, it is just the confidence to do it.
Have you felt like this? Like you really want to do something but it is causing such turmoil inside your mind? It almost hurts and has to be such a good reason to do it as it is so much easier not to.
It is a normal feeling though, but an uncomfortable one and one I am working at getting rid of.
Do you know I haven't even thought of a present because I go from worrying about it and then shutting down and refusing to think about it but it's getting close now and I must work out what to buy. It is going to happen, I am going and I will feel awful if I haven't got a good present.
Isn't it funny how we can shut things out our minds as it can be easier to ignore it than confront it?
Will that help though? Do I need to confront it? YES and the sooner the better!
Now this is where my confidence is really pushed, I just would like a friend to walk in with really. Maybe I will organise it, but I will be going, I will take a deep breath and push open those doors, I will have a big smile on my face, even though inside I'm crumbling, my heart is thumping and I am sweating like a beast!!
Confidence is not easy and there are certain situations that I struggle with more than others.
Each time I go outside my comfort zone, I feel so proud of myself and feel that wonderful glowing inside. This is the feeling of confidence. I will celebrate that I did it and I will remember that I did so next time it might just be a tiny bit easier...or not...but I will know I can, even if it is hard and that is half the battle.
If you have certain situations that you find are so much harder than others, drop me a message, I would love to hear from you.
I will leave you now to focus on the present and buying a present! To start looking forward to spending time with old and new friends. To be grateful that I got an invite. To be excited that I have a night out.
To be able to change your mindset to stop believing in those beliefs that are holding you back and be who you are now will allow you to feel more confident.
It is going to be a lovely evening.