Have you ever been in a situation that you know is wrong, what is being said you don't agree with but you didn't have the courage to stick up for your beliefs and what you thought was right? This can be so hard to do especially if you are challenging friends, family and or colleagues. Sometimes it isn't worth the argument when it is a petty, every day gripe, like not picking up the bath mat but when it starts to effect you, then you need to say something. There is no point having something eating you up inside as it is not doing you any good at all.
Yes it can be scary, yes you might risk upsetting someone but if it is de-personalised, it can be easier. You could say " I feel upset about..." rather than "why did you do that"? People will become defensive, as it is human nature to protect themselves, especially if they feel like they are being accused of something. When you state your emotions you are just saying how you feel not what they have done wrong. You aren't blaming anyone just mentioning the effect of the actions or words. It allows a calm, healthier discussion, rather than a defensive argument.
I had to question a lady at work once as to why she wasn't doing her job. I was dreading it and worrying about what I would say and how I would say it. I knew she needed to be spoken to though because it was unfair on everyone else who was working hard whist she was sitting there reading a magazine. My need for it to be fair for others became my focus, not the awkward conversation and that gave me the courage to do it. Sometimes realising what is important to you gives you the ability to speak up when maybe you wouldn't have done so before.
Recognise how you are feeling about something and does it feel right, or do you need to do something, so it does? When you know that your are challenging someone so that it aligns with your morals you will naturally feel braver. It is also good to tap into the why so that you don't say something that is unnecessary. Everyone has their own beliefs and ways of being in the world. It is respecting those opinions and being congruent in the process. Sometimes, no matter how carefully you say something, you might need that heated discussion...that is ok.
Be brave. Stand up for what is right. Stand up for what you need and deserve. Stand up for yourself and those who need a voice.
